Cutrell Family

Brent turned FIVE on Sunday. Five is a big birthday. I can't believe it is already here. His birthday party isn't until later this month but we had a little family celebration that day. He got to open a gift and have his favorite breakfast...cinnamon rolls and sausage links. Interesting combination you say? I agree. But he's da birthday boy! He got his first "real" lego set: Batmobile style. And can I just say, I think this may be the best birthday gift we have ever given him. Anyone who knows Brent knows he is incapabale of self-entertaing. However, for the past 3 days he has spents HOURS playing with this batmobile all by himself during Owen's naptime (this is the only time he gets it since Owen's too young to play with it). High five for me!

Brent also started preschool today. He was so cute about it. When he woke up this morning he came out of his room bookbag in one hand, outfit in the other and asked, "is it time to go to school yet?" Brandon and I busted out laughing. And then, when we pulled up to the "drop off" zone at his school he jumped out of the van and ran into the school without a single kiss, hug, or goodbye. I promptly called his little tail back to the car where he then quickly hugged and kissed me and told me he loved me. Then he was off again! After I picked him up he told me what a great time he had. He also told me 3 hours wasn't long enough. Geeze!

On a very personal side note, can I just say how incredibly difficult all this has been for me. For the last 5 years I have had my children with me all day every day with the exception of a few times here and there leaving them with close family members. The last five months have come with many challenges for me as a mom. I feel like I never had enough time with each child. My frustrations for one child get dumped onto another. There are always clothes to be washed. Dishes to be cleaned. Someone to be fed, or a diaper to be changed. Forget exercising. I never end the day with everything completed that I set out to do that day. The last couple of months I found myself looking forward to today. Thinking, I can finally get a little bit of a break. Spend more quality time with Owen and Quinn. Take some time to focus on taking care of myself. And now that the day is here, I find myself wishing I had just a little more time. Just a little more time before this phase starts. The phase where my children are no longer solely under my watchcare. Where I have to rely on someone else to teach, care for, shelter, and love MY children. Knowing, that they will be exposed to things I don't agree with. I try to tell myself, "it's just preschool. you get to go pick him up in 3 hours." But it's not that really. It's just the start of a new stage in our little family. I was so depressed Saturday knowing when I woke up I was going to have a 5 year old. I did ok taking him to school this morning but I have to be honest, knowing I have to do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, I have considered pulling him out. I'm ridiculous. I would never actually do that. I am just remembering how hard change can be. I guess for the most part, what's important to me has been the same for the past 5 years. Just add a child here and there. Phew! Ok, I am done with my rant. I actually feel much better too. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Motherhood makes you C.R.A.Z.Y. But I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING! I'll just have to be crazy :P